10 October 2007

The Twins - Love and Lust

Love and Lust are like twins; you can't tell one from the other so easily. They are similar in looks but entirely different in character and nature. Lust is the joy of the hour and somehow not so wholesome whereas Love is a wonderful joy and is so wholesome due to the emotional union of two hearts as well. It is a joy for hours or days or years so long as you don't mistake one for the other. The joy of love perhaps cannot be expressed in words.

Lust is beautiful and attractive but the beauty of Love is rather subtle. Lust can be insincere but Love is always honest. Once you go the Lust way Love would move away from you. Lust is a biological need just like sleep and food while Love is an emotional need just like family, children and friends. Lust cares only for your body while Love cares both for your body and soul. Lust is just a physical union whereas Love is both physical and emotional union. So one has to do a little soul-searching, "What am I after, Love or Lust?" But there is always that possibility of Love replacing Lust or Lust replacing Love somewhere midway. It all depends on how sincere and genuine you are.

Often times the Love of married couples degenerates into Lust. This may be in part due to communication malfunction, problems of ego or a simple lack of understanding and the spirit of accommodation and the mutual respect beginning to breakdown. The solution to this may simply be a perfect communication, communication without delay, without any sort of inihibition and without condemnation. Condemnation serves no purpose and on top of it, spoils the ambience.

The very purpose of communication is understanding one another. The hardest thing in the world, it seems to me, is for one person to understand another person. We are rather quick to misunderstand than understand. Why should something that appears right to one
person should appear wrong to another person? It is just the difference in the facts and figures each has to one's credit in one's 'database'. In all good faith let's try to sort them out, rather patiently. You may or may not succeed entirely in this effort but that doesn't matter for you both would be moving much closer to understanding anyway. And, the need of a sense of fair play need not be stressed for you must "do unto others what you want others to do unto you". To make things simpler, you can just say, "Okay, let's forget the past and be truthful to each other from now on".

The spirit should always be 'how much I can give' and not 'how much I can gain'. While giving, your hand is on top but while taking, your hand is under. Therefore giving is noble but taking is not ignoble. Accept whatever is given to you gladly and gracefully. Asking for something is not wrong but to get hurt when you don't get it, is wrong. If you are as ready to help or as ready to co-operate or as ready to understand and accommodate as when you first fell in love, problems seldom arise. Never take your Love and your partner in Love for granted. Remember, your spouse is the closest person to you in the world with the closest relationship. You must trust your spouse and you must be trustworthy yourself.

Suppose you bought a new dream-car. It would look sleek and beautifully cute. If you want, you can make it look the same way even after twenty-five years with just a little care and prompt maintenance at the slightest sign of something wrong. I think our Love too needs a little care and maintenance. Love is precious and so wonderful too! Let's try not to lose it, rather carelessly.

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